Friday, October 25, 2013

My life. All the shit. - CHAPTER 2: Little Ridhwan

Continues from previous post... My life. All the shit.|

CHAPTER 2: Little Ridhwan


You all might think, going through divorcement is just signing of some papers, as easy as it sounds like, its not. These marriage of two people from two different worlds, who went against their parents, started frokm nothing and only after a decade of building a castle, and now its time to demolish it? It was heart-wrecking.

Yes, Dad confessed he wanted to make the maid his second wife. Polygamy was legal, but its rarely a woman would share his man. Before that, they had much quarrels, and trust me, it gets so aggressive that the police would visit my house more frequent than the pizza delivery guy. All I can do is cry and cry, as I watch them strangling, shoving, slapping, head-butting, screaming, breaking things, throwing things.. and now it comes to an end. There was so much going on, but I more or less knew more than my other two little siblings.

Both fought over possession of property, fought of maintenance fees, and most important of all; the children. I could decide, but my little siblings could not. And parting from them was even painful than anything else. My brother was lured with toys and my sister, she have not learn how to talk properly. There were times I would not see my siblings for months or even more than a year. Mom tries to snatch sister, then Dad snatches her back. I was in Junyuan Primary School, and was tranferred to Lianhua Primary School, then transferred after a week back to Junyuan Primary School. Then right before PSLE, I ended up in Balestier Hill Primary School. A lot of moving around, it was due to the constant quarrels as they process the divorcement. Mom had to find brother at school just to see him, but orders were to not let her. And there were times, I had to even hide my temporary residence to not let my Dad find out where we were staying. And I was so mad at him when Dad tries to stalk me, and I showed him a middle finger at the age of 9. Anger grew more and more, as Dad was never there. It has always been work or sleep. Though I didn't understand much, I knew I blamed that for everything at that age.

For that time being, my current Dad, was a simple man, who seems to be sincere to my Mom. Did you know, the first time they went out for a date, I was there? We watched Spiderman in cinemas, and I was pretty sure, he was the missing piece my biological Dad never filled in.

I do love my real Dad, but that anger, of him never being there for me. So what if he guided me with my homework? I never comprehended any of his style of teaching. Maybe I was not as intellectual or a efficient as him when it comes to studies. But what I needed, was love, a fatherly love. And I could see more in this one now I am with, I feel more worth to call my Dad.

As the Mansionette house, was with Dad and that stupid bitch, my current dad ensured we had a shelter and food. Be it staying over grandparents' place, or uncle's or aunt's place.. or even the parking company's van at the near the garbage chute, as the 3 of us sleep in it, he tries his best. He may not be an RI student, he may not have a degree and was that stable, but he has a heart and he was responsible.

I have two fathers to learn from in my life, what kind of father would I be to my son in the future. I have always wondered about that.

*Come back another time for more chapters of my life. I have a lot more to tell. So stay tuned.

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