It is hard for me to find the urge to blog. It is not that I hate writing. Believe it or not, this Malay guy, whose Grammar can poison a pond of fish, loves to write. But the thing is, it is never the right stuffs to write about.
Yea, I can just give some views on some random topic. But I rather have a genuine experience, learnt and share while I express in this blog of mine. Girls blog a lot. There are a lot of female bloggers in Singapore. They can write, take photos, and are pretty. And the male bloggers, not many are that serious. If they are serious, I bet you 90% of them are not straight.
But hey, I am not stereotyping shit, I am gonna build this blog up. Slowly. And let you guys know me better.
Let me guess. These are the few things you guys got to know me from:
1. Campus Superstar (2009)
3. Ah Boys To Men
4. Ah Boys To Men actor slaps his girlfriend
5. Ah Boys To Men gets hacked by Anonymous
And if you Google my name, you only get the negative stuffs. I am not even gonna elaborate more on those negative events in this post. But the thing is, it is sad how some scars can never disappear. That fall, that wound, that cut, may or may not be your blame, but you hold that scar alone. As mush as you try to move on, those scars will get picked on, mocked on, and the agony has never seem to stop beneath those dried up scars.
I am sad. I started my "career" with being in a movie, and then did Youtubing. Started with just passion, just like all of my other highlights in my life. Never in my mind I would go that far. I mean, look at me, I am not even that good looking, or am I that good in singing or acting. It is really unexpected; those heights I have soared past, those depths I plunged into, all unpredictable. Jianhao Tan; my bestfriend, my brother.. continued to soar higher but he is not giving up on me who's left behind. We were suppose prosper together, but I just had to fall into piles of shit, causing him to drag me along so I could catch up with him. Never thought 2 people, with so much differences, can be bestfriends. Never thought I would have a bestfriend. Never thought of a lot of things. But I guess that's life.
I am doing this post, not because I am sad. Not to whine. Not to boast. Nor would I want bring back shit that has happened. But as I write this post, it helps me to let loose that pressure. Because by now, you guys who have followed me on my social media know that I am strongly driven by my emotions. If I love something, I will go all out for it. No matter what. But if somethings saddens me, if I don't feel good, every single thing fucks up.
Emotions; my greatest strength. My greatest weakness too. Thus, I am fortunate I have that one person that carry me along with positive thoughts, have the same direction, and would do as much for me like how I would do as much for that person. And I am not saying family and my other friends and fans are nothing. I am appreciative indeed to those who never lost faith in me, and really knew the true me. Furthermore I am not trying to sound gay and shit. But with the sad stuffs around me, that short dude really gave me the strength. He was there when my Dad passed away, when my girlfriend left me, when the whole world was against me, when I got enlisted into NS, when I was lost, and even now when I am still not performing to my best, he is still there.