Saturday, August 3, 2013

I Love This Girl


For the last time, I slapped my girlfriend, there's no reason anyone should hit girls, and this blogpost is not to cover my ass. I love her.

How I fell in love with Luna.

I never knew that night, a night I thought I would regret would be a night that means a lot to me. I met you; Luna Princess. I was late, and wasn't even planning to show up because I didn't have much belief if anything would happen between us. It was a random date, and as usual; Ridhwan has always been known for one thing. Not for his fame. But him not affording almost anything. And I came there with just ez-link that has a value of $5, and trust me, that is the richest I can get on an average day. So I reached there late, and we had to take a cab. I was trying hard not to show that I couldn't afford the cab by suggesting to walk, but it is obviously ridiculous. Eventually we did take a cab, me, her, and also her friend. She paid the cab and we started the night. Not much of chance for me to do much cause her friend was a barrier between us. Not long after, the barrier was away, and  interacted. It felt easy then what I expected. Despite our shyness which was shown in each others' eyes. I must admit, she was looking fine. But the most that got to me, was those eyes. Those eyes totally locked me in. And there it was that awkward question; "do you like me?", she asked. I wasn't expecting such a question and I answered "did, for now". Breaking a girl's heart was not my thing and I really did like her a lot at that very moment but wasn't trying to keep hopes too high and make it any cheesier if I would say it with "for now". And soon it was time to call it a night. Wasn't looking forward to it, and my plan was just to wait pathetically for the bus. However, from nowhere, she surprised me even more to have breakfast with me. In the cab, which I obviously can't afford, I was feeling super shy and super contented. Wasn't even worrying about how the heck Ridhwan is gonna afford breakfast! And when we got there, she bought 2 sets of Big Breakfast. I was speechless. Touched. Guilty to have expect so little from caring lady like her. We ate and I feel deeper for her. And out of my creativity and randomness, I sliced and arrange my meal into "I <3 U". I was impressed and surprised by myself. Part of me felt that my move was lame and cheesy but then again, it wasn't me. It was my heart that did that. After eating, we just drowned in each others' presence till it was time to apart.

That whole chunk you just read,
 was the only thing I can recall to make me happy nowadays. From that first day with her, we dated as I get to know her, and I learnt that her Grandma means a lot to her, and she promised her that her Grandma would see her grow up and be somebody, on stage, and be well-known among the crowd. I know many thinks she was leaching on my fame, a social climber and shit, but the thing is she isn't. She didn't want to watch Ah Boys To Men because she didn't like Noah Yap. She doesn't care about local Youtubers as much as International ones. I got to know how she had a rough past, how she only had that circle of friends to depend on when she was on the edge of breaking down. And it came across my mind, to help be better, starting from her image, to dress appropriately and start making better videos. 

Her videos were okay, but I wanted the best out of her. And I know what kind of videos will make it or not. I also learnt that her past with guys she dated were not nice, her friends, and she was a patient of depression. Thus, without thinking well, I felt the strong urge, that huge courage, to give her something look forward in life.

I was glad she finally agreed, after much persuasion, she took a step, became a bubbly and sweet looking girl, and I was overwhelmed. My fans now became her fans. Her videos are tremendously found well. Finally, a chance for her to shine and maybe make her Grandma proud one fine day. 

I am poor. I am so called "famous" but I am from the Ghetto. I lived life the hard way. Going out to places, for my own errands, by foot. The truth os sometimes I beg for even 10cents, scroll down my contacts and call the person I am meeting with the public phone cause my phone can't call. I keep hydrating myself with the tap water and would eat a meal a day if I am lucky, which is at home. At this point, I have a lot of projects, mostly is for passion. I live up to it fully. I do anything just to follow the heart. And this time my heart wants the best out of this girl, be it how her past was horrible and so on.

I always thought from the beginning; the beginning of everything, is that I am too poor for any girl. I can't buy her meals too, don't need to go on to flowers and teddy bears. I thought if we were to have an argument, it would just be about that. But then it wasn't. I feel that I am too poor for friends, after school, watching movies and shit, wasn't my thing. Up till today, especially with my bro, Jianhao, part of me don't feel good, accepting deeds and all. 

Anyway, one thing i find fucking ridiculous during our relationship is her ex-boyfriend. He was one person, that I felt was always being an unnecessary addition in this relationship of two. I have close friends, a best friend, normal friends, but don't think they should text everyday. I swear I didn't text any girls and even let her scroll my Whatsapp freely anytime. I tell her all my secrets. Plus I gave her my social media account passwords, all of them. But she thinks it's fine for her, to let her ex kiss her forehead in front of me, hold his hand, have a say in everything we do, he is always number one. I can't even imagine how I could adapted all these while, letting her hurt me even more. She claims that's her best friend, like how I have JianHao, and not discover the world with me and make new friends. And the thing is, this ex she has will do every single favor for her. Fetching her home in the middle of the night in his Dad's taxi, making me feel utterly embarrassed. That guy would do anything, everything cause she told me he is capable of everything. It gets worse, and deep inside it hurts more and more.

She has another close friend, who owes her money, doesn't think maturely with her boyfriend and breaks up with the boyfriend more than I could count. They two and her beloved ex had a crazy idea at one time to go ghost hunting. Her boyfriend just got his license and he's driving is terrible. He will miss turns when on the road, the environment is dangerous cause these kids think it's funny to call out wrong directions from the GPS to a super amateur driver like him. He borrowed a car and they got it scratched in a multi-story carpark. I was there, and was just watching these kids. And now ghost hunting? When she was having her period? To Punggol? It's obvious these people were a bad influence.

At this point, you guys should know, I don't do personal attacks, but I comment to the most out of my honesty. I put effort in complementing and correcting.

I told her after her numbers on her social media has grown, both of us gotta take care of our image. She listened at first, taking my advice in changing her image, but it slowly seem to be controlling her. It slowly seem to be me forcing her to rush to make videos. My advice seem to annoy her. She was doing fine but it seems she wasn't that passionate and would learn my guidance. She didn't want the fame. I wanted her to be the best put of her capabilities. 

But never knew our relationship would have a new ingredient, violence. And guess who introduced it? Slapping and humiliating me in the bus. Tearing my shirt cause I was too humiliated and wanted to walk away.i didn't hit her at that time. Her reason? I annoyed her. Wow. How bout my reason for hitting girls? No reason. And when girls slapping guys in daylight, it a bus which is filled, it's okay cause she's annoyed? Wow.

For the people out there telling me, "act big, actor so what" or what "career", it shows you still feed on your parents' pocket money and are basically not aware that you are able to earn from what you are passionate in; performing and social media shit. Social media is powerful. And it's where I feed myself. Not like people who get attention from chiobus and get a few retweets. Fucking stupid.

Now all of you see that "guys shouldn't hit girls". Yes. No reason for such things. But what these people, who apparently "care" for her, thinks spreading it and bringing me down will solve things serve fucking "justice". How bout' the fucking threats? Justice league?! Look at her now. Look at me now. I am crushed. I admitted. Is she better now? Walking comfortably in the public? Feeling the fame? Come on! I hope your justice is prevailed. Waiting for one of us to commit suicide? Is that it? Then justice will prevail?

 Once again, I am not covering my ass, but I was trying to control the situation. Then it got worse because relationship between two must be between fucking two! Make up or break up, easy! All problems in life, can't solve, control it. I am shattered, crushed, and fucked when I saw the bruises right after. How much guilt and hate I have in me. 

And it gets worst, when the whole Internet gets involved, gangsters making me feel in danger, in shame, fucked up, it's everywhere, I can't bring my head up to walk in public or walk alone, all gone and I should be doing the same thing to YOU, dangling my legs on the top of the building and this time let YOU get fucking traumatized, how bout' that?! How about I cut my fucking self, doing whatever you have been doing, scarring and bruising not my face, but my fucking mind. With those intimacy and importance of your ex, letting this jealousy be UNSOLVED like all of my  discomforts, allow that shit just comes like a snowball. But NO! No guys should fucking hit girls you say and apparently nothing else matters. 

Once again, I know my mistake, I am crushed, she is crushed. You guys finally did "justice" and I am not covering my ass and saying whose at fault.  

My point is to
- it's a problem between 2, not 3, not the whole singapore

I still love her. Every single one asking me to leave her.

For her, I don't know. And to those people who don't really need to get involved but just tweeting about me to get retweets, I'm glad I could help with the RTs.

I love you. I am sorry everyone.




70 comments:

  1. U can get someone better :) cheer up

    ReplyDelete
  2. Stay strong Ridhwan. Please do not think of those thoughts like suicide! I'm sure this whole thing will blow over soon! And please do not resort to self harm. It is not a solution at all, trust me, I know. Your fans are still here for you. Ignore those haters or people that just want to get attention. Hope the two of you guys will get through this together. #StayStrongRidhwan #ridhwannabesforever ♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree completely ! The haters are too nosy really . They don't have the right to judge before knowing the full story . However , hitting a woman is never correct . Ridhwan knows that as well . Yet they keep talking about that issue ( lamers ) like they have nothing better to do . How about they care about their own fucking life and their own fucking business gosh . Since Ridhwan already shown his sincerity and regrets , I think the haters should calm their tits . Sorry for my vulgar language . All in all , peace :D

      Delete
  3. Dude, i think you need not to go further with this babe. At some point, she change and it is affecting you obviously. She doesnt deserve to be respected as a women because she lay her hands, being like a bitch in the public, though i must say it didn't give you the right to slap her, SHE DESERVED IT.

    Leave everyone to it and move on... :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Totally agree wif cripperz prodigy

      Delete
    2. I cant help it ... but to blog ... http://blog.cripperz.sg/2013/08/04/ah-boys-to-men-actor-ridhwan-azman-admits-to-slapping-his-girlfriend-well-she-deserved-it/

      Delete
    3. so she deserves to get hitted? dude are y even human? ifhe really loved her soo much he would have talked to her instead of hitting her. IF he s a man he wouldnt hit her. And i wonder how you will feel if your daughter got hitted by her boyfriend.

      Delete
    4. She deserved to be slapped by him. She chose him so she should live with the consequence. This is her choice so she must live with the slapping from this day foreward

      Delete
    5. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    6. No . How could you say that she deserves to be hit ? But I have to say , it was not Ridhwan's fault as well . To anon , it is natural you know . He loved her so extremely much but that made the damage done to him hurt more . It is jealousy . Luna should learn that relationships are built on trust . So they have to trust each other . There is a quote saying that when you are in a relationship , you have to have an invisible wall between you and the other gender . I think Luna, who let her ex touch her like that, if I was Ridhwan I will be like feeling super uncomfortable. Of course, I am not taking sides. But I find Ridhwan respectable for typing out a whole passage . He is being sincere with his feelings , and that is what I like . Hope he does not get affected by the haters . The haters really have nothing to do do they . No lifers . No offense HAHAHA peace ^^

      Delete
  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  5. next time i see you... im gonna hug you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha that's so sweet hahaha .
      It must have felt fucking scary to be hated and having glares in public . Avoiding people , with the possibility to get beat any moment . Fucking judgemental society really . People should learn to either mind their own business , as if their life isn't busy enough LOL . Ridhwan , cheer up . As long as you know you're wrong and turn over a new leaf ! :D

      Delete
  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hey Ridhwan! Cheer up alright! This thing will go over ! I hope you wont think of suicide this kind of silly thing! Ignore those haters.wanting all the attention. And commenting bad things about you and luna. They are just jealous of you and luna.:) Hope you and luna ,Infinity & Beyond ∞ last long!! My cute ridhwan! Chok bak! Always be happy! Love you always! #fan #Ridhwannabes #loves

    ReplyDelete
  8. Dude, she have been this way for the longest time, same thing happened with her previous bf(s), you need not know who am i, where i know all these. I know it's utterly ridiculous for you to believe what i am saying, but i just know. She must have been too used to living her life this way, treating boyfriends the same way over and over has somehow became a routine, she just cannot change herself to adapt to a decent n true r/s. U can choose still make it, by solving the problems slowly, let her adjust slowly. Maybe u were a little too rush in the midst of helping this lady for her bright future. It takes time :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. don't worry man, tweeter are mean for people do that retweet... just take it as a comment. and just read it, n for people who say thing outside just be yrself, is not easy but that the way,,

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hey Ridhwan! Please cheer up, don't be so sad! I'm sure everything will work out in the end. Remember that everything that happens will be for the best, and nobody's perfect, no relationship is perfect. So do be happier. If you ever think of killing yourself, think of all your friends and family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah :)
      The haters just want attention .
      They just want to whine like little kids , although they aren't the victim .
      Like seriously , they judge Ridhwan as some inhuman childish person , but then what are they ? To me , Ridhwan may be rash at times , but he is honest and sweet !
      I hope this matter will go off soon . Whenever I look at his videos and look at the comments , I really want to flare . Who are they to keep thinking that they are better than Ridhwan ? Do they even know Ridhwan well or something ? If they don't know the entire story , they should just stfu . I agree hitting women is absolutely wrong but f**k , he admitted his mistake then what more do they want ? Hope he cheers up :D ( which I think he did ! ) Continue doing more covers , they are great ! The haters just want to affect you , don't take their kidish words seriously . #ridhwannabesforever

      Delete
  11. Next time i see you, i will treat you to a meal :( You don't seem to be eating much for an adult male. and DON'T inflict pain on yourself. This is the time for you to start being more optimistic. Everyone has a point in life where they'll fall and when you fall, you get back up. Same goes to you! Stay strong Ridhwan :) Ridhwannabes will always be there watching out for you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm proud of you :D <3
      Hope he does not get too affected by his haters' words , they don't know how hurtful just words could be . All of his fans will always be there for him ! No matter how many childish comments from his haters he get , hope he remains positive ! #ridhwannabesforever

      Delete
  12. I understand your situation very well. My brother's ex-girlfriend does crazy stupid things too. One doesnt suddenly blow up and hit somebody. There must be a catalyst, something that stirred this whole shit up. Especially guys in Singapore; they are ranked as the "most gentleman boyfriend/husband". I'm sorry to say that I dont know what happened to the girls in the younger generation nowadays instead.. It seems like they changed more than guys do.

    The next time I see you on the street, I'm gonna say "Stay strong bro" and give you a hug. :) All the best.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. most gentleman bf/husband? where's this ranking from? MARS? lol

      Delete
    2. #respect <3
      And hope his relationship won't get too rocky . But no matter how many times he falls , I hope that he will know us fans will always be there for him and support him so he can stand up again ! Woo !
      #ridhwannabesforever

      Delete
  13. Both require to change... it takes to hands to clap ... so either its to get something to work or somebody at fault, it always takes two to make that happen...

    cheers and carry on dude.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I'm just a passerby that came to know about this whole thing. We may have the right to give Ridhwan words of encouragement but we do not have the right to judge both him and Luna as a relationship should involve only two person(this is to those who has been insulting/criticizing both of them). Anyways, things don't happen for no reasons. Now that it happened, take it as a lesson, do some reflection, learn from it. Put aside all negative thoughts because as long as you're breathing, you will have the chance to start anew. Second chances are given to those who are willing to turn over a new leaf. So Ridhwan, don't think about giving up because you're still young and you have a lot of chances to do great things. People will always try to tear you down, but you gotta stand strong and show them who you really are and what you are capable of. Don't give up hope! CHEERS!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hi rid, i wanna say i'm touched by your post. I agree that you being an actor and how your fame, you earned it. Even though it's just the beginning of your career, it's still an achievement for you. Those people who comment on your "fame", ignore them okay? Stick to who you are and don't change, or rather improve yourself to be a better person or "rolemodel" to other teens if you wish, aside from this incident. I can tell that you are a mature young man and i believe honestly the things you told us. It is true that one cannot hit a girl but they often overlook the other factors.. if she is used to slapping you and exerting violence in your relationship, she well deserved that slap. But if it was more than a slap, it's a different story.

    whatever it is, don't think this is the end of your career ok? every setback is a new way to the path of success. Learn from mistakes and hold on tight to future endeavors , don't ever GIVE UP.

    This is not the end. You're a smart man, learn from this. :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Dude, girls are girls: Somehow always creating fucked up shit. Just talk it out with her peacefully. If she blames you for anything and its not true, just pretend to accept it. How you guys patch up when nobody makes face-to-face contact? Best wishes Ridwhan!
    ~Zen

    ReplyDelete
  17. Ridhwan,cheer up!it really saddens your supporters when you say that blog as you sounded really sad and furious.dont worry .we will still be here supporting you always .your bro JianHao will always help you too :D if you still love Luna ,continue your relationship.but if I were you,I wouldn't be with her.her hitting you,humiliating you, being that close her ex in front of you makes her not suitable for such a good boyfriend like you.but it's up to you whether do you want to continue your relationship with her or not. Whatever your decision is we support you :D

    ReplyDelete
  18. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hey ridhwan, cheer up! Your ridhwannabes are always there for you! I understand that now you're going through a lot of things. I find it ridiculous when public said those nasty things to you,the public don't know what really happened, but you do! Cheer up my dear ridhwan. Take care . Allah is always with you.raya is nearing! Be happy alright? Take care!please Dont do anything that will hurt you. Please it will hurt us too.. Cheer up alright? *Hugs*

    ReplyDelete
  20. Ridhwan stay strong ok?there is always gonna be such things gettimg in your way,just take it as a test for your relationship with Luna.And please dont cut or whatever ok?? It damn painful,you wont wanna try,trust me.and we are here for you,haters are gonna hate.its their mouth,they will say what they want to.but remember,its your ears and eyes,you choose to see or hear the hates or not.next time i see you i would hug you ok?;) #RIDHWANSTAYSTRONG

    ReplyDelete
  21. Oh man, reading this somehow made me understand your pain. You must feel like crap. ): hope this bad time passes by quickly, and cheer up my man. Things can only get better now (:

    ReplyDelete
  22. YOure actually covering your ass by saying youre not covering your ass. Ans you can delete this comment causw its not saying : awh cheer up ridhwan im here for you and bla. But that wont get you away for what you did. If you really regret hitting her you would regretted after the first time you hitted her. Now you are just saying you regret it cause its public... i bet you would have keep on hitting her if it wasnt public.

    ReplyDelete
  23. always remember there are people out there who are suffering much more than you. life isn't all about relationships or finding love, it's about improving yourself as a person and committing to your belief if you have a religion. you can continue to sulk over a failed relationship or attempt to make your life better. you only live once so live it well. eventhough that girl did hit you, it wasn't right for a guy to hit her back no matter who is in the right or wrong. will violence solve anything? no, it breeds hatred and hatred breeds more hatred. eventhough we only have one life, there are many chances in life to turn over a new leaf. so please take that chance to change yourself. don't think about this anymore and seek for forgiveness. it is up to her to forgive you or not since you can't force forgiveness onto a person. no matter who IS right or wrong, as human beings we must learn to forgive and forget or the wounds that were caused in the past will surface again.

    ps: it is not good to share your whatsapp conversations with her on twitter, let this issue be a personal thing but since it got public, i hope that you, as a public figure, can help others who're facing the same problem to overcome this since you have experienced it. or help those who aren't experiencing it yet to not face the same mistake as you. you can help others yaknow. good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Your life is not yours alone. It's a life given to you by your parents, by your mom who carried and protected you for 9 months, and endure childbirth to bring you into this world. To think of suicide, is a most heartbreaking and selfish act a child can inflict on his parents. Life is more than BGR. There are many kinds of relationships, such as kinship, friendship. Everytime you think of suiciding, think about how many people in the world are struggling to just breathe in another breath of air, just to survive. Learn to open your horizons. I wish you the best.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Because u r an actor right nw and saying so much bullshit here just to cover ur ass is damn obvious so u dun have to tell ppl u r not covering ur ass.. no matter what she did guys shouldnt lay a hand on girl.. if u r unhappy just leave her though u still love her but nt use violence.. still count urself a man.. even it is u r a shamless man la.. u r overall still a boy a kid la.. u r not the only one who earn money urself to live on.. ppl comment bad thing bout u means they still get money from parents? Hey, nw i comment bad things bout u but i dun get money from parents i also earn money myself to support myself la.. who u think u r? Just because u r an actor so what? U r not that popular nor famous anyway la.. having lots of fans doesnt mean u r popular or anything.. shame on u..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Similar thoughts.. seems to me that you are covering ur ass.. Whats the point of posting it on public and ashaming each other of these childish behaviour. This seems like attention seekers. Everyone have their own love problems. Do postin online solve the issues? It actually worsens the problem. Sometimes the more you say,the more you are trying to hide something. Kids should wake up their ideas and learn to solve problems their own instead of letting the whole world know how immature and insensible kids we have in SG.. So malu.. The world have better things to do...

      Delete
    2. agree with zZZ, should settle issues like this privately and maturely. anyway this relationship will not last.

      Delete
  26. No matter how pissed off you are, you have no right to hit a girl. You, as a MAN (I hope), are obviously stronger than the girl, and you are obligated to exercise restraint. You can hold her down if she continually hits you. You can ask people for help in a calm manner if she really gets out of control. But no, you hit her, and now you are defending your right to hit her? Doesn't sound like much of an apology to me.

    If you want to apologise, do it sincerely, maturely, instead of littering your post with expletives. Yes, you are angry. But if you structure your words with more coherence then it's more likely that people will sympathise with you. Not going all ah beng and bad boy on us with that language.

    Frankly, I do not care who is right or who is wrong. But I must reiterate my point, that you as a man, owe it to yourself and to the rest of the world, to act like one. A girl throwing the first blow is not a good enough reason to hit her like that. Tell me, after she hit you in the bus, did you have as severe injuries as she did? I didn't think so.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He knew he was at wrong , and that was what he was implying in this long passage .
      He said he was not trying to cover his ass as well .
      He tried to be mature . He was commenting mostly from his honesty . He tried to put effort in complementing and correcting c:
      I am not siding with anyone btw .
      Luna is crushed , Ridhwan is crushed , hope they get back better soon !
      I agree with the final point , but do stop chanting about it since a lot of haters already mentioned that fact haha ! :D
      #peace

      Delete
  27. oh my god .. I dunno why but I almost shed tears when I read your story .. I feel sorry for u but don't worry cheer up .. no matter what happens , life must go on .. <3<3<3 we gotta remember that .. love is not everything afterall .. however , I understand the pain and agony that you both are facing ..

    ReplyDelete
  28. Count yourself lucky to get girl with your status. How dare you lay your hands on her. Whether or not she started this "violence".. it is very ungentlemanly of you to treat her your way. And you can't blame nor stop anyone for commenting or bringing you down because you should bear these consequences. You are grown up, a "public figure", you have people looking up to you. People don't bother if you apologize, you SHOULD apologize because you are at fault. And looking at your childish post, I'm pretty glad i'm not your girlfriend. This post only makes your girlfriend look bad. If you cannot protect your girlfriend and can't give her the best she deserves, my advice to you is let her leave you. She deserves better. Girl, if you are reading this, leave this moron. 5 years down the road you will look back and regret how foolish you were. And to any of your friends or whoever who thinks she's seeking attention.. so what if she is? It's better for her to shout it out loud than to suffer in silence... of course she should publicize it and put this idiot in shame! Are you telling me that she should shut up and not telling anyone about this incident? Don't side your so called buddy or friend just because, the victim is the girl. I'd be ashamed to have known this guy. Honestly, I can't be bothered if you treated this whole situation more maturely. good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  29. hi, firstly hitting a girl is wrong no matter what and i'm glad that you know your mistake, but at the same time it does not give that girl a right to hit you and embarrassed you in the public as you aint her child and also the fact that i understand guys have ego too(since i have a bf i know), but one thing you should have done is to let her know how unhappy you are with her in the very first place when she lay her hands on you but in a serious conversation manner letting her understand how you feel which no violence would have been involve. it is obvious that when a guy lay their hands on a girl, it would always be the guy fault most of the time so you might want to consider your action in the future.
    and true i agree that in a relationship it should be just between you two but when you are in the media world, you are bound to any media attention (which alot of time are bad stuff). so if you were to or not still be in a relationship with who ever, take note that people might talk.
    since things are so complicated right now, i would not say stay in a relationship or not since it's your life.
    but what i can advice is that when you are in your next relationship, you can consider making some agreement with your partner. i always believe that in a relationship, it is a two ways street. if one does not agree with one another, its either the relationship would not work out or at least one is going to suffer.
    for now you will need a bit of cooling time off and i recommend staying off the internet for a while to avoid reading any unnecessary criticism and instead meet up with your best friend or basically be around people that you know will support you...|
    all the best...

    ReplyDelete
  30. you are very very ungentlemanly to add on. oh god please no matter what is not right to hit a girl and to this BADLY

    ReplyDelete
  31. I always thought that guys are unreasonable when they hit girls, but it's a bit difficult to say if she started it. The law will definitely side her because she's a female. From my perspective as a girl, I feel sorry for you. Sometimes you do have to stay away from girls who are trouble...it's good for you, and also her eventually. Best of luck.

    You will be fine. heart x!

    ReplyDelete
  32. I am just a random stranger who has seen enough violent relationships in her near three decades of living to know a thing of two about what's going on. So I will put it out here:

    The problem here is that somewhere in that person of yours is a patriarchal, control freak, and somewhere in that person of hers, is a woman who feels she lacks autonomy. The relationship is exceedingly unhealthy.

    Acting don't pay much. I know that, and school is likely costing you a lot, of money, time, and sanity. However, the lack of confidence you have, given your life and your financial situation, has caused you to project that insecurity onto others. When it looked like you have no control over her, it agitates you. What is outside of your circle, upsets you and it upsets you because of your inferiority complex.

    You need to come out of that loop. Your blog post frankly reeks of this sense of inferiority. Don't expect love and respect, when you have none to give her AND yourself. Educate yourself, give yourself new perspectives through films and reading--may I suggest researching on the topics of the Stockholm Syndrome, mimesis within societies, gender studies, the Malay marginality in Singaporean society, and power in relationships (Michel Foucault is a good start)?

    Also, improve on your grammar. This blog post is atrociously written.

    Anyway, don't complain about her friends seeking justice. It will come to that. However, if you fall in a hole you dug for yourself, you have to climb out of it. Don't be afraid to face it. If there be punches thrown, so be it. You deserve that much because no matter what, a man's physical strength is still more than that of a woman. But you learn from that, pick yourself up and be a better person.

    Also, learn to listen. Why is there a need to turn away and give the silent treatment? Women do it, and men can be just as petty. Listen. Communicate.

    Telling a woman what she can or cannot wear, what she does or doesn't look good in, is the projection of the needs of your own ego. (And by ego, I meant it in the psychoanalytic way. Read up on that as well.) Some days princesses want to be sloppy too. And what does her look matter if she is comfortable, with herself and with you?

    You are not ready to be with anyone, boy, because you are not ready to think of anyone else but yourself.

    If you really love her, let her go. She will be with someone else, but she will be happy. If you truly want to change, if you truly want to be a man, you will let her go. And when you do, don't look to get her back. That moment has past. You had it and you, BOTH, screwed it.

    You both need to find yourselves: You need to find your confidence and be your own man. She needs to find her voice and her own two feet to stand up on.

    If you ever ask yourself, "What the fuck does she know?!" know this: I've been poor. I used to ask people for the gravy of their mee siam because I couldn't afford a thing to eat in school. I've seen violence. I've lived and survived it.

    So, chin up, recruit. Get your head out of your ego and be the person you want to meet. That is what she needs, not your apologies.

    Best regards,
    A.

    ReplyDelete
  33. I think both of you are just plain immature, and yes the moment you make an issue in public, people WILL judge you. So the only one who is stupid is the one who needs to write a long text for everyone to read. If you are really so sorry for her, I THINK you should spare a thought by settling this privately!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Firstly , the one who set this issue in public was not him . Secondly , people judged him so badly that he had trouble walking on streets . You don't know how the hate comments hurt him . He wrote this long text for everyone to read to proof his sincerity , and to tell everyone that he had already regretted his actions , and all the haters should keep barking . He already knows it is his fault , so yeah . Teehee , peace :b

      Delete
  34. you both are still young and well, somehow immature in dealing with problems. take a step back and analyse. sometimes it's best to let go. whether u two get back together (who knows, when u guys are older and more mature in handling stuffs), would be a better rs? :)

    cheer up :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You sound mature unlike partial of the other people here who are either hating or judging . I am one who is stating my own opinion here as well haha :3 But all in all , I am sitting on the fence , not siding with anyone . Hope their relationship will go stably . >< #peace

      Delete
  35. I strongly believe you have a huge ego and pride so small bickering or arguments with your girlfriend in public will affect you greatly. Moreover you think that you have a reputation to uphold but in all honesty, you dont. Nobody cares about you. You're not even that famous. Drop that ego because clearly this world doesnt rotate around you and stop treating your girlfriend as a vent machine. Which couple doesnt have its rough times? But when you do, solve it by coming into an agreeable term with your partner instead of using violence and then regretting like an immature child. Oh and dont use "being poor" as an excuse for acting the way you are now. i know people who are in a much more terrible situation than you are in now but they are one of the most lovely people i have ever met

    ReplyDelete
  36. Alamak, how can anyone not like Noah Yap? ABTM won't be ABTM without Noah Yap! hahaha ;D

    ReplyDelete
  37. Alright. I am a huge fan of Ah Boys to Men and just gotta know about this today. First things first, yes, hitting girls is wrong. whats more if we are not related to the person by marriage and even still if we are married we as men shouldn't hit women. As a muslim we men should be protecting them instead. Give all the love, care and attention that they need. As a muslim man we are to be their leaders. Educate them wen possible. However that does not mean that we men are high and mighty and we can look down on them. for that is wrong. We too can learn and need help from woman, our other half too. Whatever that we lack we can depend on them. Its not a weakness but also a strength. We have to work together. That's why Allah made Eve rite? Because we need one another and each other to make things work. And since we need one another, shouldn't we respect each other?
    It is a great thing for you to admit your mistake. be proud of that for not many will be able to do that. but admitting it is one thing. You should also learn from it. And remember not to repeat it again. Also i understand that young people are easy to anger and easy to be agitated and act recklessly. However we have a mind. Always always think before we act. Does Islam not teach us that brother? So always have a calm mind no matter what difficulties we face. Think with a clear mind and think of Allah. for i believe you will be able to handle any situation differently than others.
    Always remember the All High and Mighty and trust me whether we are poor or not, in a tight bind or not it will not seem that difficult for there will always be people that are in a worst state than us. Now Ridhwan...be strong, always remember Allah and be more patient.

    ReplyDelete
  38. you guys are still young. take a step slowly. it not about who's right and who's wrong, but you guys just need communication. take care!

    ReplyDelete
  39. Heyyy! This is my honest opinion;
    You should really get away from her. I know you still love her and all. But do you really wanna make yourself miserable just for one person. Do you really wanna sacrifice so much? What if you hold on to her for so long, and you still continue to give in to her, what if one day she just leave you and makes fun of you? You're in control of your emotions and actions. You can choose to be sad for a while and happy afterwards then be sad for your entire life right?

    You are still young and I believe there is someone better out there. Although we are of different religion, I believe God will give you the best and forgive you of your past.

    It's honestly stupid for someone to let their ex kiss them on the forhead. Enough talking from me. You choose your own future :) Goodluck Ridhwan.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Hope everything is fine now!

    ReplyDelete
  41. Stop capsing girl , you make yourself look like a xmm ^^ And your name is the same name as one of my close friends , you really disgrace her name . Firstly , he already knew he should not have hit her . It was out of rashness like how you would snap at your parents at times ( I predict so from how you type ^^ ) Oh ya , I am not siding with him slapping with her , it was totally wrong yeah , but I disagree with this sentence you typed " AND YES MR RIDHWAN AZMAN YOU ARE TRYING HARD TO COVER UP UR FUCKING ASS AND STOP MAKING IT LIKE U R NOT " I don't know exactly what is going through the mind of you haters , and I don't know your exact age either . He was speaking out of his own opinion and was already refraining himself. He tried to complement and correct his structure and the way he phrased . He did not say it was not his fault , he knew clearly . He just gave his reasons . He apologized sincerely . c:
    Though he is at fault , peace now ^^
    ~ sitting on the fence ~

    ReplyDelete
  42. Though I know it is quite late now... but stay strong! Ridhwan we would always support you and your decision... well both of u are wrong but i believe u know why as for Luna not too sure. Just remember haters gonna hate potatoes gonna potate, yep thats my class that made up. Ignored the haters stay happy everyday. I'm really touched by what u have written, I believed there will be a resolution one day (sorry for my poor english )

    ReplyDelete
  43. I am so touched!! :( I even cried.... :( you find the princess

    ReplyDelete
  44. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  45. seriously, what you did was utterly wrong on so many levels. girl or boy what you did would be equally unacceptable and despicable either ways. I thought this was a trivial fight until i saw the photos that she had posted. the severity of the physical harm, not mentioning the psychological, emotional harm that you have caused is absolutely revolting. If you had truly loved her, and you knew she had a rough past, all the more you would protect her, shower her with love and joy and not hurt her yourself. what you did was simply brutal and disgusting. it is rather disconcerting too to think that you actually view yourself as famous, just because of youtube with a small amount of views and a few cameos from a movie. move on, stop basking in the non-existent fame that you wallow in. but what waas evern worse is that till this day, you joke about this on your youtube, " ridhwan will hit me' " i will hit you". if this incident had crushed you as what you have so pitifully claimed, i highly doubt that you would even joke about it. did you think that starting of with a cute romantic love relationship would dissolve the hate no. it only served as a confusion factor. if you had truly loved her, why would it even cross your mind to hurt her not once but multiple times. what you have done and left on her is just completely savage like and repulsive. its rather harsh to degrade your actions to that of savages but it was beast like . i hope you learn to supress some of your ego, move on to reality and i sincerely hope that today, you are not the beast that i have seen.

    ReplyDelete
  46. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete